Where There's Faith There's Hope
by Sasha.Rizzoli
Summary: Has Olivia finally broken down? Can Elliot help her before it's too late? Post Underbelly. AU. Eventual EO. Formerly titled All That I'm Living For
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I had a new idea so I thought I would try a new story and see how you like it. Please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing.**

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After her undercover gig and vacation, it had been a year since Detective Olivia Benson has stepped foot in the 16th Precinct's Special Victims Unit squad room. She was dressed in dark blue jeans which flared out at the bottom, a long red ¾ sleeved top and her favourite pair of black boots. Her hair was longer with blonde highlights and was tied up in a high ponytail.

Elliot looked up from his paperwork to see his partner walked in. Olivia was expecting at least a smile from him but all she did receive was a muttered, unfriendly hello so Olivia didn't even bother to reply; she just put her purse in her locker before she placed her long black coat on the back of her black leather seat and sat down.

As Olivia tried to remember her password to log on to the computer, she noticed Elliot stealing quick, occasional glances at her.

"What?" She asked, looking at him.

"Nothing." Elliot muttered with a shrug and went back to his paperwork.

"Well quit looking at me." She muttered back, getting frustrated at her computer.

"You don't tell me what to do, Olivia." He spoke angrily, raising his voice at her.

She has only just come back and he was already picking a fight with her.

Olivia stood up and walked over to the side of his desk. She was going to stand her ground and not put up with his shit.

"What the hell is your problem?!" She asked in pure anger, leaning in close to his face.

By now the entire squad had stopped working and were watching the argument unfold before their eyes.

"You. You're my freakin' problem! You left me and now you're back, you expect me to pretend nothing happened; that everything has been normal the past year. Well screw you!"

"No! Screw you! You don't know what I've been through this past year!" She yelled back.

Captain Cragen had had enough of listening to his two best detectives arguing, especially when one had just returned after a year away.

"That's enough the pair of you! Benson, go up to the rooftop and get some fresh air. Stabler, go talk to your kids." Cragen said and pointed to Elliot's four children standing in the doorway to the squad room.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Olivia stood on the rooftop, leaning on the edge looking down at the busy city life below. She'd had a rough year and was expecting a better welcome back then that from her best friend/partner.

After ten minutes of silence Olivia heard the door open and footsteps getting louder as the person appoarched her. At first she thought it was Elliot and she was planning on ignoring him.

"Hey girl, you alright?" The voice asked softly, which Olivia instantly identified as Fin so she turned around to face him.

Olivia sighed and nodded so Fin walked up and stood beside her, leaning against the wall as well.

"I'm guessing you had a rough year while you were gone." Fin spoke gently and wrapped his left arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her.

Olivia nodded and looked around as she felt ashamed for her behaviour in the squad room. "Yeah." Was her simple answer.

"Wanna talk about it, baby girl?"

Olivia looked at him. "Nope not really but thanks for the offer."

Fin nodded in understanding and rubbed her shoulder. "Well there's a new case. A four year old boy being abused. His auntie called it in. You wanna come with me?"

Olivia nodded and slightly smiled. "Sure."

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Olivia walked in to the little boy's room that he slept in at his auntie's house. She found him cowering in the corner.

"Hi sweetie, I'm Olivia. What's your name?" Olivia asked the small child in a soft, gentle voice as she sat down on the dark grey carpeted floor beside the boy.

The little blonde haired boy looked up. "Cameron."

"That's a nice name. Can you tell me what happened, Cameron?"

Cameron instantly felt comfortable around this strange woman. He pointed to her police badge.

Olivia smiled and gave it to him. "Yes, I'm a police officer, sweetie. Can you tell me what happened?"

Cameron nodded and gave her badge back. "My daddy hits me and calls me bad names."

Olivia nodded sadly. "Where's your Mommy?"

"Mommy is up in heaven." He said sadly as he pointed up.

Olivia sighed. "Ok, honey."

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

"So he hasn't got any other family to stay with? What about his auntie?" Cragen asked.

"Because Madeline has breast cancer. I want to take him in."

"Olivia, you can't."

"Why the hell not?" Olivia asked angrily.

"'Cos you're single and you work way too many hours."

Olivia sighed and stood up angrily, grabbing her coat off the back of her seat. "I'm going home. See you tomorrow."

Cragen sighed as he watched her leave. He the saw Elliot enter the squad room through the other doors.

"Elliot?"

"Yes, Captain?" Elliot asked as he placed a file on his desk.

"You need to talk to your partner."

Elliot was worried about her even though they had a huge argument that morning.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"She needs a friend right now. I don't know what happened while she was on vacation but it's eating her up inside."

Elliot nodded before grabbing his keys and coat. "I'll go see her right now."

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Elliot pressed the buzzer and waited for Olivia to answer.

"Hello?" A soft depressed voice answered.

"Liv, let me up."

"Elliot, go home. I'm fine." She insisted.

"'Livia, please just let me up. We need to talk."

Olivia sighed and buzzed him up before sitting back down on the couch.

Two minutes later, Elliot knocked on the door.

"It's unlocked, Elliot." She called from the couch.

Elliot opened the door and walked in, closing the door behind him.

"What the hell do you want to talk about?" She asked as he sat down on the couch beside her.

She was sitting, curled up in a deep purple mink blanket and had the TV on with the volume on low.

"What's troubling you, Liv?" He asked softly looking in to her chocolate brown orbs. "What happened while you were gone?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow! I'm so happy with the response that I got for the first chapter. I hope you like this one. Please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing!**

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"Do you really want to know? Or do you just feel guilty from this morning?"

Elliot sighed. "A little of both." He admitted softly.

Olivia looked at the TV and changed the channel. "Well I don't want your sympathy."  
"Come on, Liv. We're best friends, you can tell me anything." He gently pushed.

Olivia scoffed. "Best friends? You wouldn't have been able to tell this morning."

Elliot put his hand on her thigh, which caused her to flinch.

"Don't touch me." She seethed and moved away from him.

"Liv, please talk to me. I'm so sorry about this morning."

"I'm not ready to talk. Go home to your wife and kids." She replied emotionlessly before turning the TV volume up as some medical drama started.

Elliot sighed and stood. "I'll see you at work in the morning."

"Mmm-hmm" Olivia mumbled, not taking her eyes off the TV screen.

He walked out and softly closed the door behind him.

Olivia then turned the TV off and decided to take a bath.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Elliot walked in to the squad room and in to Captain Cragen's office.

"Did you talk to your partner?" Cragen asked as he put something in to his desk drawer.

"I tried but she won't open up." Elliot said sadly.

"She will when she is ready. Just keep at her." Cragen stated before deciding that he would give it a go.

He saw her as a daughter that he never had and he was concerned. It wasn't healthy for her to keep her emotions bottled up deep inside.

The next morning came too quickly for Olivia. She slammed her hand on her alarm clock to shut off the offending noise. It was six am. Time to get ready for work. Time to prepare herself for another day of questioning her own existance. Was she only on this Earth to help Special Victims? Was she ever going to be given the chance to be a mother? Or be given the change to find true love?

She walked in to the squad room dressed in black slacks, a red shirt and her favourite pair of black boots. She only had enough time to put her purse in her locker and coat on the coat rack before Captain Cragen called her in to his office.

"Benson, my office." He called from the doorway.

Olivia nodded and ignored Elliot's stares as she walked toward Captain Cragen's office.

She walked in silently and closed the door behind her.

"What's up, Cap?" She asked innocently.

"Take a seat, Olivia." He replied gently from behind his desk.

Olivia sighed and sat down. "What's going on?"

"I should be asking you that same question. What happened while you were away?"

Olivia shook her head, not wanting to talk about it. "Nothing, I got to get back to work."

She walked out and sat down at her desk without a single word to Elliot.

"Come on, Liv. We have to finish talking to Patrick Smart." Elliot spoke softly.

Olivia nodded and stood. "Let's go then."

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Elliot stopped at a red light and took a quick glance at his partner.

She was just sitting there silently looking out the side passenger window.

"Liv?"

"Yes?" She replied still looking out the window.

"What happened while you were gone?" He asked cautiously.

"Oh my God. We're not having this conversation."

"Liv, please."

Olivia sighed and took a long, slow, deep breath. "I can't have children." She replied in a near inaudiable whisper.

"Huh? Of course you can, Liv. You'll make a great mother."

Olivia sighed. "I can't have kids, Elliot. I'm infertile." She finally admitted.

"Huh? How come?" He gently pushed.

By now Elliot had pulled in to a parking lot, parked the car and was looking at her, waiting for an answer.

"I was in a car accident about a week after I came back from undercover.. I was trapped for long time. My left leg was broken and I was pinned between the steering wheel and the seat. I had internal bleeding so in the hospital they repaired what they could... my ovaries...I was told my ovaries and uterus were already damaged and asked if I had been... abused... Are you happy that you know now?" She said softly and looked back out the side passenger window.

Elliot put his hand on her thigh and was about to speak but Olivia brushed off his hand.

"Do me a favour...shut up and drive." She replied emotionlessly, still looking out the window.

Elliot sighed and started the engine before pulling out and driving off.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Elliot watched Olivia for the rest of the day. He'd never seen his partner so depressed.

Five pm finally came; Olivia grabbed her purse and coat and left without a word to anyone. Elliot used this time as an opportunity to talk to Captain Cragen about his idea. One that he knew would definitely make Olivia's day. He got up and walked to Cragen's office. Knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

"Come in." The older man called through the door.

Elliot opened the door and walked in.

"What's up, Elliot?" Cragen asked, looking up from his pile of paper work.

"Olivia is so depressed." He said sadly.

"Yes, I am aware of that." Don replied with a sigh.

"I am going to adopt Cameron and put Olivia as the adopting mother and myself as the adopting father."

"How's that going to work?" Cragen asked sounding very interested.

He didn't want to lose one of his best detectives but if being a mother was going to make Olivia happy then he was willing to do anything to help her.

"I'll make it work." Elliot replied confidently. "I'll going down there to work it out right now."

Cragen nodded. "Let me know how it goes."

Elliot nodded. "I sure will." He replied before rushing out of the office.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Elliot had called and made arrangements and since he knew someone in the business, the progress was nearly finished already. They were allowed to go pick Cameron up and Elliot wanted Olivia to be there.

'Meet me downstairs. I'm in my car.' He sent her a text message.

Olivia was sitting on the couch with her feet behind her when she heard her cell phone vibrate on the side table beside the couch.

She picked it up and read the message before replying. 'I'll be down in a couple minutes.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing except Cameron.**

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**Last time:**

Elliot had called and made arrangements and since he knew someone in the business, the progress was nearly finished already. They were allowed to go pick Cameron up and Elliot wanted Olivia to be there.

'Meet me downstairs. I'm in my car.' He sent her a text message.

Olivia was sitting on the couch with her feet behind her when she heard her cell phone vibrate on the side table beside the couch.

She picked it up and read the message before replying. 'I'll be down in a couple minutes.'

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Olivia came downstairs dressed in dark blue jeans and a baggy black hoodie. She got in to the passenger seat of Elliot's car.

"This better be good, Elliot." She said with a hint of annoyance in her voice as she put her seatbelt on.

"Oh it is, Liv. Trust me." He said with a smile, leaving Olivia slightly confused.

The car ride was silent until Elliot pulled up at their desired destination.

Olivia looked out and noticed exactly where they were. "Elliot, why are we at the group home where I dropped Cameron off at?" She asked as she turned the inside car light on.

Elliot smiled and passed her the adoption papers. "Just needs your signature."

Olivia took them and read them before smiling. "Oh my God. Is this for real, El?"

"Yep. My name is on it but it's all up to you. I'll be there whenever you want or need me. Anytime."

Olivia was so happy. She signed the papers before giving them back to Elliot. She then gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

This was the happiest that he'd seen her in a very long time and he was proud that he had been the one to make her smile.

"Let's go pick him up then, Livvie. They're expecting us."

Olivia nodded, still smiling as she took off her seat belt.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Olivia and Elliot walked in to the group home to see one of the carers holding little Cameron, waiting for them.

"Hey Cameron." Olivia greeted him with a smile.

"Hi 'Livia." He replied and reached out to her.

The carer passed him to Olivia with a smile. "He's such a sweetheart. You all take care now."

"Thanks." Olivia replied before walking out with Elliot and Cameron. "You're excited about coming home with me, aren't you?" She asked the small boy.

Cameron nodded with a grin. "Can I call you Mommy?"

_'Wow. That was quick.' _She thought to herself.

"Of course you can, sweetheart. Let's go home, eh?" She replied before placing him in the backseat of the car.

"I can give him some of Dickie's old things that we have lying around." Elliot said as he and Olivia got in to the car.

"Thanks Elliot...for everything...Oh no...I'll need tomorrow off to buy things for him and I'll need to work less hours."

Elliot put a hand on her thigh and looked in to her deep mocha orbs. "Liv, settle down. You can buy things tomorrow and then work out a special work schedule with Cragen. He's fine with it." He explained and started up the car.

"How do you know?" Olivia asked confused.

"He knows everything. I told him." He replied and began to drive off in the direction of Olivia's apartment.

"Thanks El." She replied and turned around to check on the little boy who was now her son. Cameron was sound asleep.

When they got to Olivia's apartment building Elliot carried Cameron in to Olivia's apartment.

"Can you please put him down in the spare bedroom?" Olivia asked as she closed the door.

"Sure, Liv." He whispered before carrying Cameron in to the spare bedroom.

He walked back out, half closing the door behind him to find Olivia in the kitchen. She was dressed in a pair of pyjamas. Elliot was in shock. Ass kicking Detective Olivia Benson was wearing light pink pyjamas with bunnies on them. He couldn't help but laugh.

"Go ahead, laugh it up." She replied after she had sip of her glass of water.

"Sorry, Liv, it's just a shock." He said as he tried to keep a straight face.

"Well I guess there are still some things that you need to learn about Olivia Marie Benson." She replied with a laugh.

The two detectives' lips were so close to each other's. Almost giving in to the sexual temptation but Elliot pulled away at the last second.

"Sorry, Liv. I gotta go." He said and rushed out of the apartment.

Olivia was hurt. She thought he loved her.

_'Boy, was I wrong. I think he loves me then he goes and shoots me down.' _She thought to herself turning out all the lights and going to bed.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Olivia woke the next morning to Cameron crying out for her. She looked at the alarm clock beside her bed. It was 6:23am. The alarm would be going off in seven minutes anyway so she just turned it off and got up.

She walked in to the spare bedroom and Cameron ran up to her.

"Morning, little man." She spoke softly as she picked him up the young boy up to give him a hug.

"Morning Mommy." He said with a big smile now plastered on his little face.

"You ready for breakfast?" Olivia asked as she carried in to the kitchen.

"Yep." He replied happily as Olivia sat him on the counter.

"You hold on tightly, sweetheart." She said as she moved to the fridge.

Cameron nodded and held on tightly.

"What would you like?"

"Panicakes." He replied cheerfully.

"Pancakes?"

"Yep."

"Sure. I can do that." Olivia replied with a smile. "You wanna help with the batter, Sweetie?"

"Can I?" He asked to make sure.

He'd never been allowed to help with anything before.

"Yeah you sure can." Olivia replied as she grabbed out all the ingredients before setting them on the counter beside the young boy.

"You wanna crack the eggs?"

Cameron nodded so Olivia passed him the eggs before helping him crack them.

When all the ingredients were in the bowl, Olivia got out the electric mixer.

"Put your hand here, sweetie." She said, motioning to the handle.

"Ok, Mommy." Cameron said and took a hold of the handle.

Olivia then put her hand over his and turned it on.

"We're mixing." Cameron said happily.

Olivia smiled. She was absolutely loving motherhood already. "We sure are, sweetheart. When it's mixed, we can cook and eat them but after that we have to get ready to go out."

"Where we going?" The curious four year old asked.

"Shopping." Olivia replied with a smile.

"Yay!" Cameron cheered.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: It's yet another hot day...will this heatwave end? Lol! Please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing except Cameron.**

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**Last time:**

"Where we going?" The curious four year old asked.

"Shopping." Olivia replied with a smile.

"Yay!" Cameron cheered.

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Olivia and Cameron walked in to the huge shopping mall and Olivia was afraid that she would lose Cameron in the huge crowd.

"Take my hand, Cam." She smiled as she put out her hand for him.

Cameron took his adoptive mother's hand. "Toy store?"

"How about we go there last, hun? We've got to buy you some clothes, shoes and other items." She replied as they walked toward a children's clothing store.

Cameron pouted but nodded. He already loved his new mommy.

In the store Olivia grabbed a shopping cart and decided to place Cameron in it so she could keep a good eye on the mischievous four year old.

"Hop in, sweetie." She picked him up and placed him in the shopping cart. "Let's go get you some new clothes, eh?"

Cameron nodded with a smile.

When they reached the boys' clothes section Cameron pointed to a little navy blue t-shirt with a train on the front of it.

"You like that one, do you, Cam?"

He nodded with a smile so Olivia picked it up and put it in to the shopping cart. "Don't walk on it, honey."

"Ok Mommy." He replied and made sure not to step on the t-shirt.

Olivia's eye fell upon a little pair of light blue jeans. They were so cute so she put them in to the cart as well.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

They had just walked out of the clothing store with all new clothes for Cameron when Olivia's cell phone began to vibrate in her dark jeans pocket.

She took it out and pressed the answer button. "Benson."

"Olivia, how's the shopping trip going?" Cragen asked.

"Yeah, it's going good." She replied, not taking her eyes off the young child in the shopping cart.

"That's good. Your partner is acting strange this morning. Do you know why? What happened last night after you collected Cameron from the group home?"

"I don't know, Cap'n. Nothing happened. Look, I've got to go. Bye." She replied nervously and hung up. "Let's go to the toy store, eh?"

"Yay!" Cameron replied with a smile and clapped with happiness.

Olivia looked in to the four year old's bright icy blue eyes. She could see a new found happiness. When she met him the first time at his auntie's home, his icy blue eyes had been so dull like he had a lost soul. A lost of innocence. Cameron was like a whole different liitle boy. He was so happy and carefree.

When Olivia and Cameron returned home just after lunch, Olivia noticed a small box on the living room floor. It had a note on the top.

She picked it up and read it.

_'Here is some of Dickie's old stuff that we had lying around in the attic. I hope you and Cameron had fun shopping...I'm sorry about last night but I don't think we should be in a relationship like that especially since I see you like a little sister... El.'_

Olivia sighed before putting Cameron's new things away in his bedroom.

"Mommy, potty." Cameron spoke up from beside her, tugging on his little pants.

"Ok, honey." She took his hand.

Olivia helped him in the bathroom before taking him down to the precinct. She had to arrange a new work schedule with Captain Cragen.

Olivia walked in to the squad room with Cameron holding her hand to find Elliot sitting at his desk. Elliot watched Olivia walk. She was walking differently with upbeat like she was happy. He could tell that she was enjoying being a mother to Cameron.

"Hi Liv. Hey Cameron."

"Hey Elliot." Cameron replied with a little wave.

"Hi." Olivia muttered and walked in to Cragen's office.

"Hey Captain."

"Hey Liv. New work schedule?"

Olivia nodded and sat down before lifting Cameron up, sitting him on her lap.

Out in the squad rom Elliot was sitting there in confusion.

"What'd you do this time to piss her off?" Munch asked from the coffee machine.

"I don't know." He replied before finally realizing.

He had hurt her by moving away just mere seconds before they kissed and then cut deeped by what he wrote in the note.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

"So you're ok with working on Monday to Friday from eight am to four pm?" Cragen asked to confirm.

"If it means I can be a mother then yes." Olivia replied.

"Ok, just sign here an initial here." He pointed to two different lines.

Olivia nodded and moved Cameron to her left knee so she could sign it.

"Ok. See you Monday. Bye. Bye-bye Cameron."

Olivia stood up and placed Cameron on the floor, taking his little hand.

"Bye Captain." She replied and walked out.

Elliot heard the door open and looked up at Olivia when she walked past his desk.

"Liv..."

"I don't have time, Stabler. See you Monday." She replied emotionlessly and walked out.

"Wow, you really did do something wrong and it pissed her off." Munch said with a smirk.

Elliot shook his head and went back to his paperwork. "Shut the hell up, John."

Munch just shrugged and went back to his paperwork as well.

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That night Olivia and Cameron were sitting on the couch in their pyjamas, watching a kiddie DVD when they were disturbed by the intercom buzzing.

"Stay here, Cam." Olivia got up and walked toward the intercom.

Cameron nodded. He was too interested in the the DVD.

"Yes?" Olivia answered with her finger on the answer button of the intercom.

"It's me, Liv. Let me up." Elliot said softly through the intercom.

Olivia ran a hand through her long brown hair. "I'm busy, Elliot...Go home or go see the kids."

Elliot could hear the sadness in her voice and sighed.

"Liv. Please." He practically begged her.

"Go home. Goodnight." Olivia said and looked at her watch. It was 7:58pm.

It was time Cameron went to bed.

"Bedtime, Cam." She said softly and turned off the DVD.

"Ok." He replied with a little yawn as he rubbed his tired little blue eyes.

Olivia tucked him in to bed and read him a story. Cameron had just drifted off to sleep when Olivia heard a knock at the front door of the apartment.

She tie-toed out of the bedroom and walked to the door. "Who is it?" She asked and looked through the peep hole. It was Elliot.

"It's Elliot."

"You aren't gonna give are you? You stubborn son of a bitch." She said in an angry hush as she opened the door.

"Can I come in?" He asked looking in to her deep mocha orbs.

Olivia just walked away and sat down on the couch so Elliot walked in and closed the door behind him.

"Liv, I'm so sorry." He said softly as he sat down on the opposite side of the couch.


	5. Chapter 5

**Please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing.**

**Last time:**

She tip-toed out of the bedroom and walked to the door. "Who is it?" She asked and looked through the peep hole. It was Elliot.

"It's Elliot."

"You aren't gonna give are you? You stubborn son of a bitch." She said in an angry hush as she opened the door.

"Can I come in?" He asked looking in to her deep mocha orbs.

Olivia just walked away and sat down on the couch so Elliot walked in and closed the door behind him.

"Liv, I'm so sorry." He said softly as he sat down on the opposite side of the couch.

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"And what you think that sorry is going to fix everything?" She asked harshly before seeing that he was sincerely sorry in his honest cerulean eyes.

She sighed and got up slowly. "I'm confused, Elliot. I don't know if you realize it or not but you keep sending me mixed signals." She walked over to the living room window, hoping that Elliot didn't see the hurt and confusion in her usually sparkly brown orbs.

Elliot saw the confusion and hurt in his best friend's gorgeous eyes. He was mentally beating himself up for it, knowing that he was the cause of it.

He tip-toed over to her and wrapped his big strong arms around her petite waist. "Liv, I'm so so sorry." He whispered delicately in to the detective's ear.

At the second that Elliot wrapped his muscly arms around her waist, Olivia felt an instant spark. A warm tingle down her spine and she was loving every moment that Elliot was holding her. She felt safe so she leaned back in to his abdomen as if it were second nature.

"So Liv, what is Cameron's full name? I didn't bother reading it on the adoption forms."

Olivia turned around in Elliot's arms and gave a small laugh.

"Cameron August Moore...But I am planning to change it to Cameron August Benson-Stabler." She smiled.

Elliot leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "Stabler?"

Olivia nodded and cuddled her head in to his chest. "Well you're his adopted father according to the forms, El."

Elliot smiled at the beautiful detective. "I...ah...I have a confession to make."

Olivia's eyes opened wide in worry. She didn't have the slightest idea of what he needed to confess. She began to panic, looking up in to his azure blue eyes.

Elliot noticed her panicking so he caressed her cheek.

He then kissed her on the forehead. "Stop panicking, Liv. It isn't anything bad." He assured his best friend.

Olivia was looking at him in complete and utter confusion.

_'What does he have to confess to me then?'_

"What is it then, El?"

"I...I love you, Olivia Marie Benson." He admited nervously.

Olivia's jaw dropped in shock but a smile replaced it a second later. "I love you too, El."

"You do?" Elliot asked to make sure he had heard her correctly. He actually wasn't expecting that answer deep doown but was so happy that she felt the same way.

"Yes, El. You heard me correctly. I love you and have done for years."

Elliot took her soft olive toned hand in his large calloused one, caresseding the back of it with his thumb.

He looked in to her pools of chocolate brown. "Really? Why didn't you ever say anything? And why do you usually push me away when I try to help you?" He asked. He was desperate for answers but didn't want to push her, fearing that she would push him away again.

Olivia looked away momentarily and took a soft, long, deep breath before looking back at the handsome blue eyed man in front of her, caressing the back of her hand. It was actually relaxing her.

"El, you were married. How could I have possibly told you? I didn't want to be the person or reason to destroy your marriage. If I did...I wouldn't be able to live with myself." She softly admitted.

"Liv, I'd never blame you...Why do you push me away so much?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not big on talking about myself. I always kept to myself growing up. I always sat alone in the back of the classroom and never drew attention to myself...My mother always found ways to embarrass me."

Elliot slowly nodded and decided to accept her answer.

Olivia let go of Elliot's hand and walked away so Elliot thought that he had upset her but she had only gone in to the kitchen.

She returned a moment later with two bottles of beer of the fridge.

"Would you like a beer?" She asked and walked over to the stereo, where she quietly put a U2 CD on.

Elliot took one of the bottles. "Thanks."

"Come sit." She smiled as she sat down on the couch.

Elliot sat down beside the beautiful brunette detective. "So how are you liking motherhood?" He asked, changing it to a positive conversation.

Olivia took a sip of her beer before looking at Elliot. She smiled again. Her famous 'Benson' smile which Elliot loved.

"It's great. I'm absolutely loving it. Cameron is such a sweetheart; always well behaved and loves to help. We even made pancakes together this morning."

Elliot smiled. "That's great, Liv. I'm so glad that you're happy and enjoying yourself."

Olivia gently cupped Elliot's face in her hands and looked in to his cerulean blue orbs. "Thank you so much. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have Cameron and I wouldn't have been given the chance to be a mother...And for that I thank you."

She let go of Elliot's face and picked up her bottle of beer again, taking a sip.

Elliot was smiling as he looked in to her happy chocolate brown orbs. "You're very welcome, Liv. You deserve it."

Olivia smiled back.

Elliot rubbed his hands together. It was now or never. He knew that this question that he was about to ask would hurt her but he needed to know. "Liv?"

Olivia took another sip of her beer and looked to Elliot's eyes. "Yes, El?"

"When you told me about how the doctor asked if you been abused...were you?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip and ran a shaky hand through her long brown hair as she looked away. "No...And I can't believe you are asking me that...I'm tired. I'm going to check on Cameron and then go to bed. Turn off the stereo and light on your way out." She spoke emotionlessly as she got up, putting her remaining beer on the coffee table.

Elliot sighed as she walked in to Cameron's bedroom. She walked out a moment later and walked toward her own bedroom.

"Liv..." He tried to get her to come back but she didn't even acknowledge that he had called her name.

He sighed and turned off the stereo before turning off the living room light and quietly leaving the apartment, making sure that the door was securely locked behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing except Cameron.**

**-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-**

Monday morning had finally rolled around; the first day of Olivia's new work schedule. It was six am. Olivia was woken by the irritating beeping of her alarm clock; with her eyes still closed she groaned and rolled over before slamming her hand down on it to shut it off. She just wanted to go back to sleep.

She'd been up with Cameron for half the night because he'd had another nightmare so Olivia fell back asleep without a problem. Olivia's eyes fluttered open again some time later and she looked at the clock. It was now 6:18.

_'Shit.' _She practically jumped out of bed and ran in to the bathroom to have a shower. She was going to be late.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

After dropping Cameron off at before kindy child care, Olivia walked in to the squad room just on time to find Elliot sitting at his desk already. He looked exhausted as well. It was obvious to her that her partner hadn't had any sleep the night before.

Elliot looked up when he noticed a figure walking through the doors in to the squad room. He noticed that it was his partner. The woman that he loved and admired. She was dressed in tight light blue jeans, a ¾ sleeved cotton v-neck top and one of her many pairs of black boots. She had light make-up on and her hair was tied back in a simple pony tail. Elliot paid closer attention to her face as she sat down, tiredly, in her black leather seat.

She had black bags underneath her exquisite pools of deep mocha. Olivia looked as exhausted as Elliot felt.

"Hi 'Livia." He smiled and silently hoped that she would reply.

Olivia looked up from her phone messages which she was going through and smiled sadly. "Morning. How was your weekend?" 

Elliot could clearly hear the exhaustion in her voice.

"Didn't really get to enjoy the weekend. The twins both had the stomach flu."

"Aww. Are they feeling better now?"

Elliot nodded. "I just hope that I don't end up with it. How about you? How was your weekend?"

Olivia rubbed her sore neck and closed her eyes momentarily before she answered. "It was good..."

"Except..." Elliot pushed.

"Except Cameron is beginning to have nightmares. I was up with him half of the night; both last night and the night before. So I only got about maybe three hours of sleep both nights."

"Olivia, you're exhausted...Maybe you should go home and get some much needed sleep while Cameron is in kindergaten." He silently hoped that she would give in for once and go home but she shook her head and logged on to her computer.

Elliot rubbed his tired eyes and was about to push the issue further but Captain Cragen emerged from his office. A new case had been called in and from his facal expression it was definitely a high profiled case; It was obvious.

"Who's catching this morning?" He asked with his hands in his pockets.

"We are, Captain." Olivia spoke up.

Cragen nodded and walked up to the dynamic duo. He took a slow, deep breath. "It's a police officer. A uni from the 2-2. Officer Marnie Bartelli. She was pronounced dead at the scene." He passed on the information, sadly and gave Elliot the piece of paper with the victim's address on it, which was where she was found. "I want his case closed as of yesterday."

His two best detectives nodded before getting up, grabbing their coats on the way out.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Elliot turned right at an intersection. They were about five minutes away from the crime scene when Elliot took a quick glance at his partner. She was trying not to fall asleep with her head resting against the cold, side passenger window.

"Liv?" Elliot finally spoke up when he stopped at a red light.

Olivia sat up straight and cleared her throat before looking over at her handsome partner. "Yes, El?"

"I'm so sorry about Friday night at your apartment."  
Olivia licked her bottom lip and nodded. "It's alright, El. I'm ready to tell you the truth...so...ah...come around tonight at about nine. Cameron should be tucked in bed, asleep, by then."

Elliot nodded and pulled over in front of the victim's house which was lively with police officers and medical examiners.

The two detectives walked in the house to find Melinda squatting down beside the body of the police woman.

"What have we got?" Elliot asked as he and Olivia appoarched the Medical Examiner.

"Twenty-eight year old female. Raped with a foreign object, possibly a wooden broom handle and strangled. Time of death approximately six to nine hours ago...but I found something interesting on the inside of her elbow." Melinda said, picking up the victim's arm.

Olivia squatted down. "What?"

"A fresh needle mark."

Olivia raised her eye brow. "She was drugged?" 

Melinda nodded. "Possibly but I won't know anymore until I do the autopsy."

"It's a high profile case so will it be done today?" Elliot asked as Olivia stood up again.

Melinda nodded, looking up at the detectives. "I hope so."

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Elliot and Olivia were on their way back to the precinct to report what they had when Olivia saw a young child run in to the middle of the street to retrieve his basketball.

"Watch out!" Olivia screamed in panic.

"Shit." Elliot swerved to miss the young boy, probably aged seven or eight; who should have been in school.

Elliot was silently cursing as he tried to regain control of the car. Olivia was freaking out beside him, thinking that this was the end. She tried to grab a hold of the steering wheel to help Elliot as she was silently praying that she and Elliot would come out of this safely.

BANG. SMASH.

Cameron was Olivia's last coherent thought before blackness consumed her. Kathy, Maureen, Kathleen, Dickie and Lizzie were in Elliot's last thought before he lost consciousness himself.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This chapter is for Dramawitsvu17 and Veiled Obsessions, you both rock! Please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: Only own the doctor and Cameron.**

**Last time:**

Elliot and Olivia were on their way back to the precinct to report what they had when Olivia saw a young child run in to the middle of the street to retrieve his basketball.

"Watch out!" Olivia screamed in panic.

"Shit." Elliot swerved to miss the young boy, probably aged seven or eight; who should have been in school.

Elliot was silently cursing as he tried to regain control of the car. Olivia was freaking out beside him, thinking that this was the end. She tried to grab a hold of the steering wheel to help Elliot as she was silently praying that she and Elliot would come out of this safely.

BANG. SMASH.

Cameron was Olivia's last coherent thought before blackness consumed her. Kathy, Maureen, Kathleen, Dickie and Lizzie were in Elliot's last thought before before he lost consciousness himself.

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A man appeared and told the young boy that he'd done a good job as he handed him a $20 bill before walking over to the detective car which was smashed head first in to the large, thick trunk of a tree beside the road. Both detectives were unconscious and were seriously injuried especially Olivia because the car took the most impact on the passenger side. The malicious man with a grudge against the dynamic duo walked over to the driver's side of the damaged vehicle and opened the door. He left a note on the dash before unbuckling Elliot's seatbelt. The anonymous man then dragged Elliot out of his seat in to his car which was on the other side of the fairly quiet road. He placed Elliot in the back seat and closed the back passenger door before grabbing out his prepaid cell phone which was untraceable.

"_9-1-1 please state you're emergency..."_

"There has been a car accident on East 56th street. Driver has done a runner but the passenger is a detective. Olivia Benson. Please hurry." He faked being panicked as he got in to his car and started the engine.

"_Ok sir. Emergency services have answered the call and should be at the scene in less then fifteen minutes."_

"Ok bye." He hung up and threw the cell phone in to the passenger seat before driving away. He had to get Elliot to the warehouse and tied up before he regained conconsciousness.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

With in fifteen minutes of the nameless man's call to emergency services, the EMTs, firefighters and police in tow, including Captain Cragen, who has found out about it through another officer, who had heard it through the scanner.

Cragen followed the EMTs to the detective car. He gasped in shock and turned a ghostly shade of white when he saw the detective who he considered the daughter that he'd never had. She was still unconscious with a bloody nose, cut on her face and arms from the broken glass and bruises. She was trapped inside and they had to use the 'Jaws of Life' to get her out.

One of the EMTs. An older male with sandy brown hair and hazel eyes walked around to the driver's side and grabbed the piece of white paper.

"Captain Cragen!" Jeremy, the EMT called Cragen in a panic.

Cragen rushed over and Jeremy gave him the note. It read: 

_'Captain Cragen,_

_I guess you are wondering why I took Detective Stabler instead of Detective Benson. Well I decided that I would take him first and return for my love. It was great to see them again, especially Olivia. It has been too long._

_Till we meet again,_

_Richard White.'_

Don ran a hand down his face in frustration. "Shit!" He cursed but then heard The EMTs call out.

"She's free! Let's get her to Mt Sinai."

Don rushed over as they rushed Olivia to the ambulance. She was lying on the gurney still unconscious with a neck brace on, an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth and an IV in her right arm. He'd never so her so fragile. So vulnerable. So helpless. So pale. The colour of her skin was so different to her normal, glowing sun kissed complexion.

"Is she going to be alright?" Don was desperate for answers.

Jeremy bit his bottom lip. "It's too early to tell, sir. We'll do our best." He and Alana, the other EMT loaded the still unconscious and pale Olivia in to the ambulance, closed the back doors, turned on the sirens and sped off toward Mt Sinai Hospital.

Don was left standing there, in anger toward Richard White and panic as he worried about his two best detectives. "DAMN IT!" He yelled out to no-one in particular before looking at his watch. It was 2:45. "Oh Shit! Cameron!" He jumped in to his car and drove off toward Cameron's kindy.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

_Some Unknown Location_

Elliot finally regained consciousness and the first thing that he noticed was the pain that he was in. His head was pounding, like someone was jack-hammering in to his skull and his chest felt like it could explode at anytime. Elliot opened his azure blue orbs and realized that he had a saline IV going in to a vein in the inside of his right elbow. The room was small, cramped, cold, damp, dark and dusty. The floor and walls were just plain concrete. He looked around and finally realized that he was alone.

_'Where the hell is Olivia?'_

"Liv!... Olivia!" He called out, and a couple seconds later he heard locks being turned and then a heavy door being opened.

"Nice to see you awake, Detective Stabler."

"White. Where the hell is Olivia?"

Richard laughed evilly. "Most likely in a hospital. Don't worry, you will be reunited soon."

Elliot was furious. "You leave her alone. She is much better off in a hospital, getting the treatment that she needs."

Richard grabbed a baseball bat that he had sitting in the corner and whacked Elliot over the head with it, knocking him unconscious again. "Shut up, Elliot. I will get my love. She belongs to me." His evil voice would have sent a chill up anyone's spine.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Cragen walked in to Olivia's hospital room with Cameron, holding his hand. Olivia had been rushed in to emergency surgery to stop internal bleeding. Her spleen had to be removed, two ribs were broken as well as her left leg and she had a concussion.

"What's wrong with Mommy?" Cameron asked from Cragen's lap as Don was sitting in the chair beside the hospital bed.

"Mommy was in an accident, Cameron..." He was about to explain further but Olivia's surgeon walked in to the room.

"Captain Donald Cragen?" Asked the tall, thin, dark brown haired woman.

"Yes?"

"I'm Dr Sally Dwyer. I was Detective Benson's surgeon."

Cragen nodded. "Olivia's current doctor informed me of her injuries but nothing else."

Dr Dwyer sighed and noded. "I am afraid that Detective Benson is in a coma. We won't know the extent of her concussion or if she had any significant brain damage until she wakes up."

"And how long will that be?" Cragen asked concerned.

"I'm not sure. It's hard to tell." Dr Dwyer informed him, sadly. "Is this her son?"

"Adopted son. She only adopted him less than a week ago."

Dr Dwyer nodded, sadly. "What's your name, little guy?"

Cameron looked at Cragen.

"It's ok, buddy. You can talk to her. She helped Mommy."

Cameron nodded and looked up at Sally. "I'm Cameron and I'm four."

"Well hello, Cameron." Sally smiled and received a smile back from Cameron before her pager went off. "Well, I have to go."

Cragen nodded. "Thank you, doctor." He turned to look at the peacefully sleeping Olivia, and then back at the little boy in his lap, whose eyes were wide with confusion. "You and me both, buddy." He whispers.


End file.
